Captain’s Log 13 April 2020
To see the previous post, click here.
I’ve had it. I am sick of this steaming pile of horse crap. 32 days of being in my house with my three wonderful men has me at the end of my rope. I know in my last post I was explaining all the wonderful coping mechanisms for being in isolation. Well guess what, those work really great when most of the time you are by yourself and there aren’t people (I swear, intentionally) irritating you.
My workload has doubled, no tripled. And most of it is not even work I like. It is work Mark likes. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and I take great joy in our Live streams but I don’t love being tied to a computer. As a matter of fact, I may be the only Gen X/Xennial that hates technology.
I like working with people. I thrive on having conversations, figuring out solutions to problems. I like being creative in finding those solutions. I am finding fulfillment in one part of my work right now. We are building a new initiative called Pause for the World. It is cool, small businesses, schools, churches, and other organizations who are struggling financially can share a referral link and for each Pause for the World t-shirt that is sold they get $10 straightaway. This is the one bit of work that is satisfying to me right now and I am grateful for it.
I have mentioned this before but, if one more person leaves a glass, plate, bowl, fork, knife, or spoon on the counter I might make them eat it. If it’s dirty put it in the dishwasher. If the dishwasher is full run it. If the dishes in the dishwasher are clean put them away and then put your used china and silverware in it. If you drop something pick it up. There are no flipping, magic elves that do those things you neglect, there is only me. If you wake up, brush your teeth. If you smell (or I tell you, you smell) take a bath. I could go on ad nauseum or at least until the cows come home. Actually, cows can come trade places with the boys in my house, they’d be cleaner.
When you see me working, join in. If I am typing, be quiet or interrupt with an, ‘excuse me, mama’. Stop washing all the laundry you can find and then leaving it in the washer. Stop putting things in the dryer and leaving them there too. And if by some miracle, you actually remove things from the dryer Fold Them. We currently have a pile of clean clothes the size of a baby elephant on the laundry room floor. Oh, and our laundry room is about the size of a closet so, I literally cannot open the door fully, nor shut it.
Grace. I am doing my absolute best to give a good measure to each of the people in my home. I do not feel two of them are giving me one ounce of grace. The biggest one, he is giving me grace but, it’s not enough to make up for the smaller people.
The worst of all of this is that it is Holy Week for us. As Greek Orthodox our Pascha (Easter) is a week after Western Easter this year. Usually, this makes me happy because I get to celebrate twice. I love Pascha/Easter more than any other holiday both liturgically and secularly. It is just a beautiful, fulfilling time of year for me. But somehow, with kids who are doing absolutely nothing or whining to high heaven when made to do anything it is less than fulfilling this year. Mark loves Christmas. He loves it so much that I let him keep one tree up until Mother’s Day. But my favorite holiday…I get eye rolling and fussing.
Seriously, as I am writing this, I asked one child to brush his teeth and put the puzzle pieces away that have been untouched on the coffee table for 4 days and he forgot (actually forgot) what the second thing was. When Mark told him to put the puzzle away he came to my room in tears, real live tears, because it was going to be too hard and take a long time. It’s like 40 pieces, you open the box, swipe them in and close the box. 25 seconds, max, if you drop one.
I am tired of cajoling my children into everything. Why can’t they just do what I ask without question, just once a day? I could live with perfect obedience if only just once a day. I swear I am losing my voice some days. Today one of my children came into the kitchen with a whole bunch of marker tattoos all over his face, neck, chest, and arms. Every one of them was spelled backward as he had done them in a mirror. At least I got in one good belly laugh today.
This is usually the time of year when I go on a girl’s trip to anywhere just to be surrounded by women who understand what motherhood is like. On days like this when I have had it with being surrounded by boys I bust out the Delta app and find a cheap flight to somewhere, call my best friends and see who can go with me. Now, I can’t even call my friends and see who can go to lunch.
I am trying to remember why we are doing this but, I am losing sight. I am sure tomorrow I will remember and be in a better frame of mind. Oh wait, maybe not because Mark is doing a marathon tomorrow. Not a real marathon. He is teaching his entire Principles of Marketing course online tomorrow starting at 8am to raise funds for his university’s Student Emergency Fund. I am so glad he is doing this, there are a lot of students who really need help right now. But tomorrow, trying to get the boys to do their schoolwork and keep the volume to a low roar, keep the dog from barking at every human he sees, get my own work done and do all of it without being able to talk to him—well, that is going to be a challenge.
After writing this and adding a whole bunch of pictures of who we usually are has made me feel so much better. I love these stinky, messy, obnoxious men more than words.
Until next time,
Jocelyn